The Way Of The Barbaric

Well I was shocked. I don't know why I was shocked I shouldn't be any more, but I was. I am presently reading a book called The Barbarian Way. (Thanks Chris). And in the second chapter I was kind of stopped in my tracks by the authors take on some verses that I have read a hundred times before. I could quote them, I just obviously hadn't thought about them previously. It was from Matthew 11:2-6. (When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.")
The author was talking about a Jesus I don't understand very well. A Jesus definitely not of my making. John who grew up as a close cousiin with him, who knew while still in the womb that Jesus was the promised Messiah.
John who stood for him, lived a crazy life eating locusts and honey (neither of my favorite dishes) in order to be the voice of the one crying in the wilderness - "prepare ye the way for the Lord", baptized Him and saw the Holy Spirit descend on Him like a dove. John, who was at that very moment suffering in prison for that life of obedience, just is a little bit faithless and needed some confirmation, or even affirmation that it will all work out in the end. And what was the reply - STUFF HE ALREADY KNEW! He'd seen and heard of the miracles, but right now he was in need of a miracle. And in that place of pain and anxiety comes this word. "Blessed is the one who doesn't fall away on account of me." In other words - I can rescue you. But I won't. But if you stand firm, even in this, you will be blessed.
It seems like in the last month I have seen so many examples of this in the lives of people around me. They seem to be going through incredible hurts and massive amounts of pain, one thing after the other. Even stranger is, it seems to be people that all love God so much, and I think how will they bare up under it.

The strain is too much, and I cry out to God to pull them out of it, and still the painful situations seem to continue. And then I read this chapter, which I read and reread. And the author reiterated what I already knew, but with an example that shocked my socks off. I had never thought of Jesus, purposefully, not working a miraculous rescue in the life of someone that He loved and who loved Him. All the stories I had thought of before (in regards to God leading those that love Him through times of intense painful testing) were old testament, and seem to be a part of God that was history. The part of God that was ordering the wiping out of a nation, of the death of evil men.
But in The Barbarian Way, it reminded me. Jesus is God, God is unchanging. He wants us to have lives full of meaning, not full of fun in the sun and pina colada's brought to us by Cabana boys in the South Pacific somewhere.
Although he does love to lavish blessing on us, He also loves for us to run to Him with arms wide open. Hard to do when carrying a Pina Colada. Much easier to do when we are afraid, or worried, or in pain and needing a hand to hold.
I know last year was one of the most painful I've known, and I know in that time I felt more loved by God than ever before. It is true. Blessed is the one that doesn't fall away, when trials come, when God leads you on a narrow path that seems to have briars on both sides, and people shooting arrows from above, while walking barefoot on broken glass. To follow through the pain, and be able to say in the midst. Blessed be your name.

Like these things?

You Are Apple Green

You are almost super-humanly upbeat. You have a very positive energy that surrounds you. And while you are happy go lucky, you're also charmingly assertive. You get what you want, even if you have to persuade those against you to see things your way. Reflective and thoughtful, you know yourself well - and you know that you want out of life.

What Color Green Are You?

I know there are a million of them, and they suck me in every time. Do you think they are scientifically sound? I kinda doubt, most scientists aren't even "scientifically sound" so how can I trust an online test.... although I do absolutely believe the IQ test I took is accurate. It had scientific questions on it.

"I love the delicate shadow of she.. wanting me to be" - conspiracy theory

This is definitely how I feel right now...
But I long to be swimming hard in some blue ocean, maybe racing alongside some giant squid.
Please note: That is definitely an analogy, I am a little bit afraid of fish, and or live ocean creatures of any sort. Dead, they aren't so bad, in fact many of them are delicious... but alive, they are unpredictable at best.

Anyway... I was just chatting with a dear friend about this feeling of being in limbo. Floating... waiting... but for what?
We just finished watching a documentary called "My Date With Drew". And I realized, that is a guy who went out and tried to accomplish something that to his mind was HUGE. The key to his success was his friends. They were in it with him 100%.
I try and accomplish big things, sure - but usually on my own... until God steps in and says "uh uh uh, not without Me, remember?" Then He takes over and whatever endeavor it was, either becomes way more successful or bombs totally, so that I know it had been all on my own effort. But the best and biggest achievements of my life have been those born out of a community. Involving God, and my family - both the christian family and the relative kind :)
Still I try and go it alone. I think because the fear of failing seems easier to take if no one knows you tried, and therefore by default, they don't realize you've failed! ...So I struggle through on my own, or wait for God to hand me things wrapped in a bow and placed on a silver platter. Weak -I KNOW!! So this is my attempt at reaching out I guess.
Here is a little known fact about me. Often the things that matter very much to me, and are weighing heavy on my heart I talk about in a rather nonchalant tone, even joke about. I say I care in a voice that implies I don't. Fear of appearing weak I guess. I don't tell you this so that you pity me, or pull some Barbra Walters, try and make her cry gig... I just want to be honest. Things I seem to have altogether and am strong in, are probably weighing me down the most. The things I rant about and talk strongly about are probably really of lesser importance. I may care about them, but they aren't so close to my heart that I try and hide the hurt or the frustration attached to them. I know I'm not the only one like this - because the friend I mentioned chatting to earlier (in a VERY nonchalant manner) used the same tricks to avoid hurt. To avoid exposure. To what? ...uhhh... questions, comments, awkward silences. Whatever you dream can occur when you share your heart of hearts with someone.

Phew! I'm glad that's out there with everyone looking at it! Here's my heart friends, acquaintances, strangers that happen by...
to quote Natasha Bedingfield -"I bruise easily, so be careful when you talk to me" ...once again, joke - sorry. But it shows I mean it, you know?
okay ...uh...bye. ( man that was awkward, nuts still typing, must sto

hahahahaha, oh White Ninja.... heeheehee, giggle

And there's plenty more where that came from... check out the link in the side bar
or if that's not working copy and paste this... www.whiteninjacomics.com

Dear Anonymous

I would blog - but I'm just not in the mood. I'm just too antsy (is that the right spelling?) Something's gotta give.
However I did want to just take this opportunity to wish everyone - Chag Sameach!! Or Happy Holidays, Pesach Smicha! or a Joyous Passover! It starts at Sundown!
Until... I feel like it - Auf Weidersien Pet!
xx's Grace

When will she learn

This is another chance to write a blog on toe jam, however I know that Mr. Keller is getting tired of them.
Mr. Keller to you I have to say....... all is fair in love and war of blogging and so the Toe Jam stories will continue until she learns.
I only do this out of love.
The End.

The Bridget Jones Syndrome

The World's full of Bridget Jones look alikes... at least spiritually we are. We all just want someone (maybe God) to say... I love you, just the way you are. Then we want to not believe it, and strive and work to make ourselves loveable.. all the while hoping against hope it really is... true.... Not that it could be of course. We after all know all the worst bits about ourselves, and so does God. If I can't love myself, and really I'm my biggest fan, how possibly then could God? In the first "Bridget Jones' Diary" we see a very average english girl with a sadly average self esteem, beating her brains out trying to be attractive and snag herself a man... because no matter how much she told herself she didn't need a relationship to be happy, she really wanted one. I think people are generally the same with God. Telling themselves they don't need or even want a relationship with Him. To have a real realationship with God probably isn't even possible anyway, etc... But all the time longing for unconditonal love, and to be really known and accepted where they're at, without a list of guidelines for things that need to be changed before acceptance and forgiveness can be granted. So poor old Bridget, chases and nabs the man she thinks she can get, instead of the type of man she really wants. She wins, a commitmentphobic, meglomaniac - lucky girl.. and convinces herself that's what she wanted all along, and maybe with a little luck he'll turn out to be the man she assumes she can't be in a relationship in the first place. Are you getting this... It makes perfect sense in my head, but sometimes writing it down with everyone looking at it - well I worry it's confusing.... I'll end here, next time we'll dissect the sequel... I think the first is an analogy of the worlds longing for Christ, but refusal to allow Him to forgive and love them. The second is more a great analogy for the Christian who still thinks they need to earn what they have already freely been given. Actually I guess there is not need to write about the sequel in details if it summarizes so easily... (By the way.. the movies although naughty - are quite funny in an english sort of way.)