Imprisoned by Choices.

Choices; I'm starting to despise the word.  It seems like one of the greatest problems for someone of my age and culture is that we are spoilt for choice.  There are a myriad of things we could do and all of them have an equal number of pros and cons.  Because of this, many of us seem to be living life in a holding pattern; uncertain of which path to choose or how long to keep going in the direction we settle on.

More and more often I see people, not unlike myself, trying various courses and careers; staying in them for a year or two and then moving on.  Because of our abundance of choice there is no incentive to stick it out when the going gets tough. 

This culture of indecision has filtered down into my spiritual life too.  Now, I  have the excuse of waiting on God to direct me.  I can't carry on if I don't feel peace about it... right?

The other day, as I was reading my bible I realized that God DID give me some pretty clear instructions already.  I know He wants me (and each one of us) to take care of widows and orphans.  We have millions upon millions of them in our world and the number grows.  He wants me to be hospitable. Again, I have opportunity everyday to make people feel at home and feel loved in my company.  He wants me to love my neighbours. I have neighbours, I live in a community, again I have opportunity. He wants me to pray without ceasing.  Something I can definitely aspire to and CAN create time in my day for.
In fact, reading all the red letters in the bible give a pretty clear path to follow.
AND if I give up the right to my choices, if I make myself a slave to Christ, I will gain the ability to walk in His footsteps.
It's quite reassuring.  Freeing, in fact.

Thoughts, impressions? I'm curious what you think.

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob, Hallelujah Chorus - Must See!

Awesome! REALLY Brilliant, it made me tear up, I can't even tell you why.
I guess my spirit was just acknowledging how right it is.
Amen.

Fire

It's Chanukah. The time when Jewish people everywhere light candles (1 everyday for 8 days) remembering a great Miracle. God in his mercy rescued the Hebrew nation, once again, from spritual slavery. He gave them back the temple so they could worship and at the same time the nation could be rebuilt.
Well, God is rescuing them again at Chanukah.
Haifa, my old "home town" is being evacuated. A huge forrest fire is blazing across the top of Mount Carmel, it's already threatened homes in the druze village of Isfiya and Denya (an affluent subburb of Haifa, very close to Kababir where I used to live) and keeps on blazing. Normally when something like this happens you can trust your neighbours to come to your aid, but what you do when you are basically surrounded by enemies?
Every so often I am reminded of the difficult position Israel finds itself in, and my heart just aches for it.  Although God has set them apart as special, or perhaps because He has, they often come under attack from every direction. We see it in the story of Chanukah, not only had the Greeks taken over the land, they had taken over the temple; sacrificing a pig on the alter and defiling the Holy of Holies. But as the Helenistic culture and religion began to spread through the nation God worked in the hearts of men to stop what to Him is an abomination. The men listened to God and became the heroes of a nation.
God works in the realities in which we live. He will use whomever and whatever is available to him in order to carry out His unchangeable will. 

Here is an unmistakable truth. "He who watches over Israel, will neither slumber or sleep." Again and again Israel makes it through, and in some cases is even aided by their enemies. It reminds me that no matter what we think of World Leaders, whether they seem to be men that would listen to God or not, He can speak to hearts. He knows them intimately and can inspire them to act with mercy! Such is the case today, when Israels neighbours come to their aid.

I am so comforted when I see how prophecy written thousands of years ago is coming true today. God will accomplish what He wills to accomplish. I can't mess that up, no matter how badly I listen sometimes. I remember how clear that was while I was living in Israel. Somehow it is so much harder to see while living in Canada, but just because I don't see it with my own eyes does not mean it is not happening. God is accomplishing miracles everyday, He is revealing himself through prophecy and signs and wonders. If I turn my eyes on Him and less on myself, I will see these things; and somehow... just in seeing them I feel like I am a part of them.  It is quite awesome.

Today, I will keep watch and I will pray. I will pray for my old home and for the safety of my friends (and other residents) there; and I will pray that God will use this fire to shine light on who He is and what He is doing in the land. God is Good; Majestic in Holiness and Awesome in Power!

Learning.

I have a new "passion" - writing screenplays.  I started with one, a mystery/suspense story that I just couldn't get out of my head. I had got about a quarter of the way in when an idea came, fully formed, for a romantic comedy, and so began script #2.  Half way through, at page 62, I was told a true story of an amazing, older woman in Africa whose story just begged to be told. And so I have started with number 3.

The thing I love most about the screen play format is that you can cut to the chase. As long winded as I can be when I write, when a story is in my head begging to be told, it's nice to be able to tell it succinctly and without all the pomp and "how-do-you-do" of prose.  I also really enjoy the learning experience. With prose I can pretend I know how to write. It's hard to admit my deficiencies because I feel  I should have learned it all by now... I should be better. However, writing for the screen requires learning. What is the protocol for subtitles, or splitscreen?  How does one introduce a new character? How much description is necessary? Can I really advance the story relying on dialogue? Is the dialogue "realistic" without being boring or long winded.  How do I pace the various genres of screenplays that I want to write?

I am amazed that the answers to all these questions really can be found on the Internet. Sure, it takes a little bit of time to really search and find more than a hopeful screenwriter in yahoo.answers BUT if you can spare the time there is a host of resources available free of charge.

So who knows... maybe someday you will go to a theatre and you'll get stuck in your row behind that obnoxious teenage couple that made out the entire film, you'll glance up as the credits roll and there will be my name. Maybe... God willing of course. :)
   

So that my world revolves around the Son

I am an ocean away from where I thought I would be this week.  I mean that quite literally.  I know I haven't posted for ages; between packing, and remodelling, visiting family in the States and saying goodbye, there just wasn't any time. NOW, I have so much time I don't quite know what to do with it.

Last Tuesday, the day before I was supposed to fly to the UK and start a new chapter of my life, I was grounded.  I went to the doctor to check out some flu like symptoms and hopefully get an antibiotic and they noticed my bloodpressure was incredibly high.

That was it. Plans changed. Life changed.
They put me on some meds right away, and told me I will be needing a myriad of tests and highly suggested I do that here where I have a family doctor.

A funny thing happened when my life turned upside down... I realized I had been living it the wrong way around.  The only thing right, the only thing that made sense for me in the last few days and now... is God.  Somehow, knowing that, it's almost like God's turned me the right way round and the upset and the shaking up of my plans and even the way that I thought about my life was exposed as a fake and although it's upsetting I am still much preferring to live a life that is true.

I had thought I was living right by including God in everything I did (or at least most things). But it turns out that isn't right at all... it is to be my future, my family, my friends, my "time" that is to be brought into my relationship with God and not the other way around.  It is Him that should be my focus.

The reason fear still often controls me is because I focus on it and then try to bring it to God, if instead my focus was God and fear tried to worm it's way into that focus the incredible love and power of God would repel it and I need not even try to handle it myself.

The last few days I have felt pretty sponge like... I just want to hear things that edify, that speak of God's goodness and draw me close.  Despite dealing with a brand new heart healthy diet, and pills and tests and possible tests; I really feel like my life is more the right way up, than it has been for a long time.  I am positive that has much to do with what my mind has been occupied with. The medical stuff, although important and not to be neglected, is not why I'm still here right now.  I think my spirit is in much greater need of health and healing than my physical self is.

Praise God He is doing the work and I know that HE who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it!

MOVING!

I've been here four years.  I know to some people that sounds like no time at all, but it is the longest I have lived in any one place in my whole adult life.  When I came back here I had nothing.  Well, very little anyway.  Most of my furniture had burned in a fire.  I left much of what I owned in the UK back in the UK.  I had been working as a volunteer, so I had almost no money.  In a way I was almost starting from scratch... apart from one very significant thing, family. I came back to family and it has been so good to be living and working with my family and learning from and with them.  I am so grateful that during the darkest parts of the last few years I have had family to walk beside me.  I am perhaps even more grateful that during some of the brightest moments of the last four years my family were there to walk beside me as well.

I am so blessed to have a family that knows and loves God and are seeking to follow him.  That isn't a very popular road to be on, even to some other Christians.  It can, in fact, be incredibly lonely... an alien pursuit by the worlds standards.  But God, in His goodness, brought me back home and kept me close to like minded people as I grew and healed and hoped.

Somehow, as all that was happening I also acrued a lot of possessions.  Vehicle, furniture, clothing, masses of books, linens, etc,etc, etc..  and not just cast offs that were given to me so I wouldn't look poverty stricken, but my own "things."  Things that I like, that are my taste... things that somehow represent me.

Since it's the first time in my life that I've had so many "things" of my own; I was surprised when I decided to move the power these things had to hold me.  Decisions had to be made on what was to be done with them. What I take with me, what I sell, what I give away.  I thought I wasn't very materialistic, but then I found myself not wanting to give everything away.  As I went through my belongings I came up with very ligitimate reasons WHY I should keep everything,  WHY it would be fine to store all my stuff and decide at a later date what should be done with it.  But then... then my mum reminded me again of God's call on us to take of the poor, the widowed, the orphaned.  She was doing a clean sweep, selling what she could so she could give the proceeds to Hands at Work Africa (A VERY worthwhile charity, check it out!) and I realized it profited me nothing, nor helped anyone else for me to hide away my possessions. 

Well now, here is the very cool thing about selling what you have to give to the poor.  You feel free!

I don't have all this stuff to worry about any more. (I still have some, but at least 9 boxes less than I did)  I can start fresh (again) knowing that my heavenly Father can, and does, provide for me. On top of that you feel great knowing that this stuff that tied you down is now blessings someone else here in Canada AND the small fee they paid for it will go a long way to helping those in need on the other side of the ocean!

 I am so excited to move forward and see just where God directs my path.  I am heading back to the UK but this time to a little town called Thame.  I'll be joining my cousin Sarah in her catering business, which seems like it will be an wonderful fit. I'm also looking forward to getting involved with the church in Thame;  I'm excited to meet my Christian family there and get to know them. I'll let you know how it goes, shall I? ; P

Take On Me: Literal Video Version *ORIGINAL*

literal music videos, my new bff