So that my world revolves around the Son

I am an ocean away from where I thought I would be this week.  I mean that quite literally.  I know I haven't posted for ages; between packing, and remodelling, visiting family in the States and saying goodbye, there just wasn't any time. NOW, I have so much time I don't quite know what to do with it.

Last Tuesday, the day before I was supposed to fly to the UK and start a new chapter of my life, I was grounded.  I went to the doctor to check out some flu like symptoms and hopefully get an antibiotic and they noticed my bloodpressure was incredibly high.

That was it. Plans changed. Life changed.
They put me on some meds right away, and told me I will be needing a myriad of tests and highly suggested I do that here where I have a family doctor.

A funny thing happened when my life turned upside down... I realized I had been living it the wrong way around.  The only thing right, the only thing that made sense for me in the last few days and now... is God.  Somehow, knowing that, it's almost like God's turned me the right way round and the upset and the shaking up of my plans and even the way that I thought about my life was exposed as a fake and although it's upsetting I am still much preferring to live a life that is true.

I had thought I was living right by including God in everything I did (or at least most things). But it turns out that isn't right at all... it is to be my future, my family, my friends, my "time" that is to be brought into my relationship with God and not the other way around.  It is Him that should be my focus.

The reason fear still often controls me is because I focus on it and then try to bring it to God, if instead my focus was God and fear tried to worm it's way into that focus the incredible love and power of God would repel it and I need not even try to handle it myself.

The last few days I have felt pretty sponge like... I just want to hear things that edify, that speak of God's goodness and draw me close.  Despite dealing with a brand new heart healthy diet, and pills and tests and possible tests; I really feel like my life is more the right way up, than it has been for a long time.  I am positive that has much to do with what my mind has been occupied with. The medical stuff, although important and not to be neglected, is not why I'm still here right now.  I think my spirit is in much greater need of health and healing than my physical self is.

Praise God He is doing the work and I know that HE who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it!