365 days ago...

Where were you?? I had just been home a couple months and wondering what God had in store.... Now I have been home a year and a couple months and I'm wondering what God has in store...
Somehow so much can happen in a year and yet still leave you where you were 365 days previous. That's how I feel. I know there are things in me that have changed... and maybe irrevocably, and there have been changes in relationship with friends and family, some drawing closer while others pulling apart, and yet somehow I feel like there has been no progression. I am praying prayers I prayed last year. I am wondering the same things about the future and so ready to move on, but unsure to what or how... or when. Sigh, stupid New Years making me all melancholy. However this time I am resolved to NOT feel melancholy at our rockin' "multicultural Newyears party" and to take dance classes in the New Year :D No more freedom for me - it's time I take control over my dance habits and learn to step in time >>>

Post script... This Christmas John got a very special Christmas Card from the creator of white ninja... it's positively thrilling for the whole family. Joy, Dave and I got the tshirts! I know it makes you super jealous, but I was too excited not to tell. Of course, you'd find out anyway. I threw out all my other shirts. They were just too lame in comparison.

Happy Christmas Everybody!!!

I pray you can all have lots of fun! AND that you know absolutely how much our heavenly father loves you to have sent his son :D
xx's Grace

Last Christmas

I gave you my heart... but the very next day, you gave it away. *Sigh*
P.S. Watching this Joy immediately picked out george michael as "the cute guy" hahahaha poor joybells.

Capernwray Dance Party

Believe or not every single person is completely sober... but at this dance off the promise of a free Milkshake is enough to make Paul, Lydia and Victor dance their hearts out!

I miss our dance parties

Here Paul gets competitive in our dance off... I miss dance party in the Beehive. IN fact I am posting both videos I have from that night... I had forgotten I had them

This winter is a wonderland

Still it snows... the snowiest winter I've seen in forever... it snowed all day again today.

Fortunately I have bronchitis, so I don't feel guilty for not wanting to go anywhere. Instead we curl up in blankets, sip tea and watch a plethora of movies... and paint, and ... well praise God for snow days.

Thanks Mr. Bean for this inspirational poem, and joy for reminding me of it...

Roses are reddish...

Violets are blue-ish...

If it wasn't for Christmas,

We'd all be jewish!

(....Happy Chanukah friends!)

sometimes winter is beautiful... and a strange dream

This is just out of town... I went out with John to take some pictures. I love how at sunset even snow can look warm. I guess the grass peeking through helps too.

So I had this strange dream the other night... it's really hard to explain, but it was strange not just because of the content of the dream, but because unlike most of my dreams I had no idea what was about to happen, in that way it felt very real. I was sitting in the living room with my family. It was summer and our dining room window was open, all of a sudden we hear this ruckus outside. There was a guy... who I assumed was drunk yelling and we could hear what sounded like bottles breaking. He was yelling "REALLY WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL... HE WAS JUST THE BASTARD SON OF A CARPENTER AND A PROSTITUTE. YOU CALL HIM A SAVIOUR HE COULDN'T SAVE HIMSELF!" I felt so sad for this guy. I felt sad that he was so deluded. I felt sad that he bought into the lies that have, truthfully, been hanging around since the romans and pharisee's started spouting them just after the resurrection. He kept yelling and I can't even bring myself to write what he said... (There is almost never any swearing or bad language in my dreams no matter what was happening - so I guess that set this dream apart too.) My curiousity got the best of me, as it usually does... and I went to the window to see who it was. I was absolutely shocked to discover that it wasn't just one man... There was a group of people bashing out the windows of our cars with bats and rocks. The man was there yelling and the others grinning and nodding assent to what he said as they kept breaking windows. My heart started beating so fast... I thought I wasn't scared but my body was saying otherwise. I felt I really had to say something, proclaim truth in the midst of the lies. I stood at the window looking, some of them glancing at me and laughing, shaking their heads. I started telling the leader that he was wrong.. that not only had Jesus in that one radical act saved not just himself, or the jews or the others of that day, but he had saved me. That he is in fact the legitimate heir of the King of Kings, Majestic in Holiness, working wonders... and all sorts of things he had done and names He was given came tumbling out. Even as I spoke I knew they would come after me next. I felt bad for my family, that I hadn't given them a chance to get away... I felt sad that I had pushed them into having to take a stand for Christ right then and there. But in the back of my mind I knew it was good and right, that God had brought this test to us, not just me. It was time for us to stand up and bear witness to the truth. I woke up as I was still speaking to them and watching them grow in fury... My heart was beating so hard, and I thought - I can't forget this dream - even if I don't understand it right now in full, it felt like there was something important in it. Even stranger, when I fell back to sleep, the next dream that I had ended with me telling my sister Christina about this dream... somehow it's important.

A collection of delightful times with Ol' St. Nick, in days of Yore

I do believe this St. Nick is in it for the money and not for the love of the children..

Oh won't somebody think of the children??
This is one shady looking St.Nick look at the devil horns he's sporting...
I think those kids have a right to look nervous!

I think I would be crying to... what is that thing??

Gives me the creeps just looking at it,

and yet... somehow... I can't look away.

Ahhh... Here's the Ol' St. Nick I remember! ...It's the girly purple wristwatch he's sporting,

sets him apart from the fakes. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this Saint, that is just one bratty kid, angry he's getting coal for Christmas.

I love that the true Saint Nick is an advocate of tough love where necessary.

True Story!

Antoine Feuchtwanger introduced the frankfurter weiner to America....

2nd quote of the day

Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.

Quote of the day.

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the perogative of the brave."
~Mohandas Gandhi

Lemon Tree

Tonight...

Snow is all there is.

Really! It's been snowing for about a week now. I have even invested in long underwear. Long underwear is my new hero! I avoided it for so long because the extra layer makes you feel as if you're walking like an awkward robot. Let me just say, I'd rather be a warm awkward robot than a teeth chattering average joe.
I have also started Christmas party season. It has been my tradition since I was living in Israel to have late night Christmas parties. Sometimes with a friend, sometimes even just me and God.
Somehow they make me feel happy and melancholy. Poetic amost :D They make ordinary nights extraordinary. They make blizzards a welcome thing, rather than something to dread. Christmas parties are all about comfort and warmth and spices. If you don't have personal Christmas parties let me highly encourage you to start. In fact why not have one tonight. They don't need to be extravagent, they just require: Christmas music, candles, warm blankets, and some spiced drink or hot chocolate. Manderin oranges, chocolate, or pfefferneuse/ liebkuchen (I doubt that's spelt right) all take it up a notch. Even if you're alone it'll make you feel special and loved deep down. Try it, you'll like it!!

Tenacious D/Tribute

trying again...

Tenacious-D - Tribute

"Be you angels?"
"Nay we are but MEN! ROCK AaAaAaAaAaON!

Finally...

Finally an idea is taking shape. A plan is forming.

I found something I can use the mass amount of time I have at the moment, and do something productive.

Curious?? If you are and you ask me nicely I may tell you what it is... but not on blogger.

I love to have secrets! but even more than that... I love to share secrets :D

In other news.. "I heart Antony Gormley!!"

this is one of his works... almost all of his sculptures have to do with human form - but not in a pervy art student sort of way.

All of his stuff is about evoking a feeling in the viewer and involving them in the piece in some way - they all seem very tactile.

Love it, and therefore wanted to share it with you...

Today's German Phrase

Bitte seien Sie mir nicht bose.
bittuh zi-en zee meer burzuh.
Please don't be angry with me.

Today's German Phrase

Bitte seien Sie mir nicht bose.
bittuh zi-en zee meer burzuh.
Please don't be angry with me.

Today's German Phrase

Bitte seien Sie mir nicht bose.
bittuh zi-en zee meer burzuh.
Please don't be angry with me.

Scary 'Mary Poppins' Trailer

Thanks to kelly for this find!!
Hilarious!

I couldn't help but give it a go...

http://www.myheritage.com

admit it, after the results I got... you wanna try it too!!

..............................sigh

Today I visted a dying friend. It's not the first time I've visited someone who was dying, but this time was different.
This time I was alone.
It was just her and me.
She didn't know me anymore, which made me feel even more alone. I talked and she looked at me blankly. I wasn't sure if she heard, but sometimes she would say something in a weak voice. All recognizable words, but strung together in a way that made them senseless. I wished I had brought my bible, because then I could have read to her and filled the silence. Instead she looked at me, and I looked at her. I wanted to run, but first I prayed for her. It's one of those things that just left me feeling so sad. All she could do was lie there. Her only attmepts to communicate were futile, because all her words were just that... just words. When I tried to read something in her eyes, there was blankness. I pray so much she is either healed dramatically, or is called home shortly. I know if I was her I would wish God would take me quickly. But then, just because she can't communicate to me, doesn't mean she can't communicate with God. Maybe they are having a grand old time together. I thank God so much he can hear and interpret the sighs of our hearts and groans that words cannot express. I thank God that she is not alone. That He will never leave her or forsake her. What a comfort that is.
Despite this comfort I am still sad today. I guess maybe I am already mourning the loss of this friend. Even though she is still "present in the body", I think she is really at home with the Lord.

Today's "German Phrase(s) of the Day"

We'd like to get this firmed up
wir mochten das gerne unter Dach und Fach bringen
veer murshten dass gairnuh oonter dahK oont fahK bringen

I'll wait
Ich warte
ish vartuh

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!!

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot
We see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

What am I??

Some of you will know the lovely Becky.. but for those that don't let me just say.. She's lovely!! But lives in England so many of you will never know her - sad I know!
I missed dressing up this year, which was sad because I LOVE dressing up. Anyway I thought I would post a picture of a costume past... No one seemed to get this costume - Do you?? Feel free to guess - but if you already know well... that's not quite fair :D

volume number two

The boys have told me these great poop stories and I have never had one until now!!!
I had this poop that was so massive I had to stand up just to finish the job!!.. I felt like I had broght something big to the world and wanted to share it with all of you.

Let me recommend...

lately I've had a wee bit of time on my hands -so I thought I would do a little study and read all the books recommended to me in the last couple of years that I hadn't had a chance to read yet. I won't exactly do a book review here, but I just wanted to pass on the recommendation for some that I found really are "must reads".
I just loved them, the way they challenged my thinking or revealed ways that God is working that I hadn't paid much attention to before.

The most recent read is "Fresh Wind Fresh Fire" by Pastor Jim Cymbala. He's the Pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York. It's just a fascinating story of amazing things God has and is doing there in Brooklyn - taking a rather average man and using him to accomplish major things in a church that was once dying (down to about 50 members) and now has thousands of members involved in ministries throughout the city and coming regularly, not just to Sunday Services but to their now massive tuesday night prayer meeting.

"Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell pastor of Mars Hill (yes a church :D) also has intriguing stories of the way God works in mighty ways in the lives of those that surrender themselves to Him. It also talks a lot about biblical interpretation and the church in the west. I started it thinking I really didn't like the style (REALLY short paragraphs, very modern look) but I soon forgot all that because of the quality of what was being said. Who needs "high falutin' mumbo jumbo" anyway... right??

My last recommendation of the day - "The Priest" by Francine Rivers. It's a short novel on the life of Aaron (brother of Moses and the first High Priest -not counting Melchizedek, and Jesus of course!) I wasn't so sure I wanted to read it although it was highly recommended, just 'cause I'm not so into novels these days... HOWEVER! This one was really refreshing. It made me look at aaron in a way I never had before.. Like when he builds the golden calf - all my life (pretty much) I wondered how he could do that!! Well, the account of it here really gave me a fresh take on things (and of course "no temptation has seized you except that which is common to man") what a people pleaser he was being... He took his eyes off God (while God was/had been talking to them from the mountain) in order to address the needs of the people he had felt responsible for. He of course couldn't really help them, their problems were greater than he could bear - but rather than turn back to hear the voice of God he aimed to make them a representation of God that these poor simple folk could understand... something familiar... something very visible...
Interesting that just while I was reading this part of the book, I was also reading in Hebrews and saw a verse that I had read many times before but not paid attention to. Moses kept his eyes on the one that is invisible That is what was credited to him as faith...(Heb. 11:27).
Interesting huh?? I needed that lesson the last few weeks. To keep right on going, with my eyes firmly fixed on the one who is invisble!
I can so easily be faithless when God is at work behind my back... I always want Him to be working where I can see! BUT Faith... requires me to praise and hope and persist in prayer with Thanksgiving, even when there is no physical evidence, presently, that God is at work.
Yep... so those three!! Good reads all of them, and after you read all or one of them lets have a little chat shall we :D

Little Superstar

I saw this on Jimmy Kimmel a few weeks back... I don't know what I love more - his dance or his teeth!! Amazing!

White Ninja Loves Barbeque

Father what should I be as I grow up??

I’ve asked this question more than once, but one day as I was walking and praying with a friend at Capernwray He answered!
And not in a way that I expected at all…
Today He is still answering. The answer is the same, only more and more it’s reaffirmed through verses and books and study and prayer.

So it all started Feb 7th 2005 (two days before my very good friend Faye passed away)– I was invited to stay longer at Capernwray needed to give an answer and I was really praying to know God’s will and what he wanted. I know, I know – it drives some people crazy to hear that you are searching for God’s will, when really His ultimate will is laid out for us clearly in the bible… But ANYWAY….here is a little from my journal around that time.
March 1st…
God’s timing is so impeccable. I can’t even begin to fathom the perfection of it. It has been such a hard few weeks, but so many amazing lessons to be learned through it all. There has been so much pain, but somehow a richness and beauty that has come through it.
I know already that my words will be inadequate to explain all that has happened and all that I have been learning, but I will attempt to start close to the beginning of the latest journey.
About 4 (?) weeks ago I was talking with Lisa in the office. She had been dissatisfied with where she was at spiritually, in life, etc. And I just felt as we talked that we really just needed to pray together once a week, specifically about what God wanted us to do, and how He wants us to live, and where He wants us to be. So, timidly on the inside, confidently on the outside I said, “…what we need to do now Lisa, is take time, once a week, to pray together about these things.” Little did I realize that, that was actually an answer to her prayers, and me saying that was an act of obedience!!

I also had been starting to feel like I was drifting a bit. Not drawing as near as I could or should be. One night I felt so strongly I had to “get out” be outside where I find it easiest to hear God’s voice. Walking around the grounds and countries roads at night was not something was in a habit of – we were told often it just wasn’t safe… but everyone I knew would have walked with me was watching a movie… “getting away from the group” is an uncommon feeling for me, and I stubbornly sat there with them , waiting for the movie to finish and hoping that someone would get bored and suggest a walk – nope the movie finished and they decided to watch the special features… I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to go out, I had to go pray… And so I did, and it turned into such a good time, beautiful and fulfilling… AND it gave me an answer for the immediate future. I would finish in the office at the beginning of September.

That Sunday Lisa and I went for our first prayer walk. We started out rather awkwardly I must admit, it's hard to start being vulnerable with someone, but it turned into something rather beautiful actually. Such a good time of prayer as we walked the loop (grounds) a few times.
I got another answer then… about what I should be as I grow up. As we were praying I felt like God was telling me very clearly He wanted me to be an Ark of the Covenant.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!! I mean, really, that’s a bit obtuse isn’t it? But I actually started to think about it and realized it was quite lovely. I thought of all the stories of the journey the ark took before it got to it’s resting place. BUT! Because of it’s presence there in those places people where blessed, whole towns were blessed, even nations!! Not because the ark in an of itself was so impressive, but because of God’s presence over it… because God himself “sat on it”… the top of the ark being called the mercy seat… (Just this year when I was thinking about it again I was shown a verse in Acts 2 where it says that the Holy Spirit “sat” on those present at Pentecost)
Because of God’s presence on it, it was a blessing to those in it’s vicinity. I started to think how amazing it would be if God blessed the people that I was around… just because I was around… letting Him be a real presence in my life.
Not blessing, because I’m “using my gifts” or “speaking into their lives” “offering all sorts of wisdom”. Not because of what I do or who I am, but just because God’s Holy Spirit in my life has the ability to bless all around me. His abilities not mine.
Kind of like how the disciples were so overflowing with the Spirit, that even their shadows falling on someone as they passed by caused that person to be healed!! Can you imagine??!! (this of course also freaked me out a little – God is that what you want from me??!! Really!!??)
Ahhhh… but it goes deeper. Then I started to think about what the Ark contained (I was reading through Hebrews last night and again was reminded of this actually – Here’s what Hebrews says.. “Inside the Ark were a gold jar containing manna, Aarons staff that had sprouted leaves, and the stone tablets of the covenant. Above the Ark were the cherubim of divine glory, whose wings stretched out over the Ark’s cover, the place of atonement. But we cannot explain these things in detail now.” - P.S. Last night at sunset began Yom Kippur, the day of covering, a.k.a. the Day of Atonement. – which I found interesting also, because not by my design, I figured I need to pray and fast and read the bible– which is exactly what most Hebrew believers do for Yom Kippur, I only realized that it was Yom Kippur this morning – I really think it was God’s design - I can't explain it, but I do)
[back to the journal]
For example the stone tablets with the 10 Commandments… the covenant (promise) contained the commands! As we know God has now written these commands on our hearts! … How wonderful it would be to get to the point that with every heart beat we were living and walking in obedience. Then there was of course the jar of manna that didn’t decay, it remained fresh! How great is it, to not only receive daily bread, but that it wouldn’t be lost, forgotten, or worn out, but rather be built upon. A constant drawing nearer… And then Aaron’s staff that had budded. That one I believe will take more thought, but on first glance it made me think about the things in my life that are still dead, areas, maybe even crutches, I have relied upon, that have no life of their own… but that need God to breathe life into them. (Since this journal entry I’ve studied a bit more on it, and part of the story has to do with the healing of the nation – interesting connection)

… okay this is where I leave my journal entry and confess… I knew I had to pray for this and rebelled. I didn’t want to. I was so scared of how this would separate me from others, including some Christian friends. To allow God complete abandon in your life, leaves you open to rebuke from all sorts – sharing in the cross that Christ himself carried. There were also the thoughts like… “who am I to expect God to do something "larger than this life" in and through me…) It has been a battle in me all year. Wanting to, and not wanting to, pray for these things all year. The summer was particularly bad… I had SO much time… laid up in bed, to wrestle with God about this… Well, of course He won… I have started to pray that I will at least desire to completely abandon myself to Him. And more and more the desire is growing…
That is still where I am at – whenever I ask God – what should I do… the reply is be and Ark of my covenant – a bearer of His promises.
Today I was reading “Captivating” by John and Stasi Eldredge… and I was again convicted of my need to say Yes to God, to be obedient and willing… this is what God had to say to me through this book…

“ ‘Mary responded. “I am the Lord’s servant, and I am willing to accept
whatever he wants. May everything you have said come true.” ’
-Luke 1:38 NLT
…….. the same holds through for Mary, the mother of Jesus – only it’s far more weighty. Her life also turned upon an invitation. The angel came as the courier of the King. But still she needed to say yes. He would not force the whole thing upon her. Her heart needed to be willing. She would need her heart through all that followed. Accepting God’s invitation required remarkable courage, and once again all hell broke loose. Her enemy raged. She nearly lost her marriage. She and Joseph certainly lost their standing in the synagogue. Her life became an incredible story. Mary needed a steadfastness of heart to keep saying “Yes” to God. But she became the woman she was born to be, and the Kingdom was never the same. It all started with an invitation.

The invitations of our Prince (Christ our bridegroom) come to us in all sorts of ways. Your heart itself, as a woman, is an invitation. An invitation delivered in the most intimate and personal way. Your Lover has written something on your heart. It is a call to find a life of Romance and to protect the love affair as your most precious treasure. A call to cultivate the beauty you hold inside, and to unveil your beauty on behalf of others. And it is a call to adventure, to become the ezer (help) the world desperately needs you to be. “


I know I have been given an invitation by God… to draw nearer still... To abandon myself to Him, the Lover of my soul.
That my dear friends I what I know at the moment. I have also just written to the church in Edmonton and withdrawn my application with them. I believe that it isn’t actually the right place, or time, or position… BUT I know, that going this far in the application process was also a necessary step of obedience.
So… if you lasted through this entire blog I applaud you. It is an uncommon feat I am sure. Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement.
Love, Grace

In The Meantime...

since it will take me a bit to formulate a proper blog I am stealing a friends (because it includes a rather funny incident from last year around this time... here's what jonny has to say about it! )

Anybody ever seen a dead cow?

This is another photo I have with memories from last summer at Capernwray. Right at the end of the summer Ray was seen with this cow, stone dead, in the front of his digger, driving round the loop while a family walk for the guests was happening. Classic.
So that evening, Andrew Wallace, Grace and a couple others went up to see this cow. I've never seen a dead cow before but it stunk! Andrew had to peel the plastic back, I couldn't go near it. We had a laugh, took some pictures and basically dishonoured the poor dead cow by having a laugh and taking photographs.
Jonathan Elvis Marie Ireland
PS-Andrew Wallace is from Northern Ireland (like me!) and one of the funniest guys I know. Grace is pretty funny too. Funny looking that is! Ohhh! I'm so funny too.

BIG question maRKS ?

Well, a lot is up in the air for me lately. I keep looking for a sign of what direction I should be heading at least and so far all I get is confliction.
Simultaneous signs that seem to lead in opposite directions. I KNOW that technicaly God can bring everything together and what presently seems to be conflicting need not be - He is God over impossibilities.
Still I just wish there were a clear sign in the sky or something. I feel like I pray and pray and get all sorts of answers all of which leave even bigger questions marks than before. I guess it's better than silence, but a whole lot more confusing.
Next week (God willing) I'll head off to the big city for a job interview. A church has asked me to come interview for the position of youth pastor there. I told them up front I wasn't even sure if that's what I wanted to do at the moment, but somehow they are still interested and want me to come by. I want to do what God wills so I'm going. I pray that after the interview it will be more clear if that's where I should be next or not... Anyway, IF you think about it, I'd love it if you'd pray for me. That would be just so nice... especially in these next few weeks.
Thanks friends and friends of friends (that are most likely family, because of Jesus)!

a life hidden in a tent

A couple of days ago a friend from church had this lovely little baby girl almost a month early... so there was none of the impatient waiting close to the end involved. Earlier that day they were at our house having a chat with my elder sister and that night she delivered their daughter. What just amazes me every time is how the space of a day changes your life so drastically. Just that day, a man we have known since I was a baby passed away, his funeral was today. His life will never be the same. In a good way :D,
One life, I have just met, she was hidden from view; although no less alive the day before birth than the day after. The other one has since left the tent/body he was dwelling in and is now more alive than he had been while here, although I can no longer see him he is in fact more alive today than he was the day before.
Fascinating don't you think.

At the funeral today, the pastor was talking about our body being a tent, it is imperfect, and it is only temporary. That instilled in me so much hope. I started thinking about all this mess with whatever is causing me pain - that obviously isn't my appendix! And I thought about all those little aches and pains you can feel (...after bowling, which we did last night) - and then about how quickly a body heals and how much it can stand up against. I got really excited (in this funeral, hahaha) to think that if this is the temporary body, the shelter not built to last. That although knit together by God in the womb, is not anything close to what he has been preparing for me in heaven. Well that's just incredible don't you think.
Also, just as I was thinking about writing this blog, that verse came to mind (that I haven't looked up, and don't know off the top of my head where it is).
Our life is hidden with Christ in God!! It reminded me how this baby was hidden. Her life was there but hidden... and the real living begins outside the womb.
Right now my life is hidden with Christ in God. I am living, definitely - but this life compared to the one lived in heaven when I shed this "tent" (maybe almost like a womb)is not really living. There is so much I want to say, but if I make this too long absolutely no one will read it, and then there would be no discussion. Discussion is essential, so I can keep learning so...
The End :D

a random peek at an old email reminded me...

of something I sent to a friend from an online newsletter by some Rabbi... Who every so often puts things in a different way.

"Whenever your silence can be understood by others as agreement with what was said, you have an obligation to speak the truth. This way no one will mistakenly think that you agree with what was said.

Moreover, you can never tell; perhaps you will be successful in influencing others to make positive changes. A person who is not very assertive might find this difficult. However, learn from the person who says things that should not be said. If he is able to say something that he shouldn't, you certainly have a right to say those things that should be said. He is not afraid to say something improper; you should have the courage to speak up out of idealism!"

....I know this picture has nothing really to do with this post, but I love it and just had to post it anyway...

Photo Fraud in Lebanon

this is fascinating...
Sad but funny at the same time I think.

There is a Day!!

Lately I've been thinking more about this day that we're waiting for...
I love this song by Phatfish, and I thought I'd post the Lyrics. They just seem so triumphant. When I hear it, I get so excited. We shall see Him, and we'll be like Him, it's beautiful.


There Is A Day
by Phatfish
album:
There is a day
That all creation's waiting for,
A day of freedom and liberation for the earth.
And on that day
The Lord will come to meet His bride,
And when we see Him
In an instant we'll be changed

The trumpet sounds
And the dead will then be raised
By His power,
Never to perish again.
Once only flesh,
Now clothed with immortality,
Death has now been
Swallowed up in victory

We will meet Him in the air
And then we will be like Him
For we will see Him, as He is
Oh yeah!
Then all hurt and pain will cease
And we'lll be with Him forever
And in His glory we will live
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

So lift your eyes
To the things as yet unseen,
That will remain now
For all eternity.
Though trouble's hard,
It's only momentary
And it's acheiving
Our future glory.

World?

I'm in LOVE with the Whole Wide World!!!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEEEOOOOOPEEEEEEOOOOOOOWEEEEPOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Why do I never sign out of my profile?

Factoids!!!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Sadness and Peace

So I won't be going to Peru next week after all. When I first found out, I was so sad. Even though I kind of expected it. My doctor said he would give his "cautious consent" for me to go.. IF... I could guarantee all sorts of medical stuff that just couldn't be guaranteed. ALSO, the medical insurance we bought for the team was purchased before I had the old appendix out (well actually on the same day) - so really any complications arising post surgery wouldn't be covered because it wasn't listed. So SIM requested that I don't join the team. As soon as I was told I ALSO had peace that it was right. I, to be honest wasn't sure in the beginning it was God's will I go, so I thought I will lead the team for as long as God wants, and then I'll let go. But as the time grew closer it really seemed like it was alright. Well... right up until I got admitted to hospital anyway. Even then I thought I would probably be fully healed and doing fine before we go. But I was wrong. I know if I was supposed to go, God could have healed me. I could be so healed there wouldn't even be any scars from the surgery. I think, as it's happened - it was God's will I lead this team, and then release it and let Him do as He wills using all the gifted people He's preordained should go. I have such peace about it, I'm pretty amazed myself. Sadness and peace. Praise God for the peace. I think it would be pretty devestating to have immense sadness without the hope that Peace brings with it. Hope because I know God is in control. And no matter what He chooses, I need to choose to say "Blessed be Your name."
P.S. The little boy in the picture with me IS going to Peru with the team. He will definitely be an asset.

a season for everything...

I think it's kind of amazing that within a day there can be several seasons of life.
One thing I didn't post from my friends last email, is about their sons upcoming bar mitzvah. A time for a huge party, family coming from all over the place to celebrate this rite of passage. I think it's lovely that despite outside circumstances God can still bless us with so much joy.
I remember when the intifadah had just started, I had only been in Israel for about 6 months by then, and I was consumed with a desire to know everything that was happening politically (etc) within the country and the city I was living in (Haifa), so we would listen for hours to the radio... and every so often I would look outside and be surprised to see people walking their dog, or returning from the market with bags of groceries, or washing their car. I thought how can they carry on?? We're in the midst of all this turmoil. But that's life isn't it. It doesn't stop, it will continue on and it's right and good to be able to go ahead and count the blessings around you, rather than dwell on the negative miserable things that are also going on all around. Not that we block out the negative, and pretend it's not there. But there is a time to mourn it then hand the situation over to God and move forward into blessing.
It's like those times for laughter with friends and family you meet at a funeral. This confliction. Mourning and laughter in the same breath, residing in the same heart... Life. Real life. Won't it be great when the time for mourning is over? When we are together in heaven enjoy the riches of God's kingdom with no more mourning, no more sadness, no more hurt. Experiencing love the way it was designed.... Someday, maybe soon :D

Please Pray

<-this is Charlie and Nathaniel outside the teams bomb shelter. That thin little door is by no means the main front door... the main door is massive and heavy and just inside... a little further in there is another massive safe like door, and just beyond that another. If it was a safe it would take theives hours to get through I'm sure. It has to be like that... it's protecting something much more precious than money or gold.- Grace

Boker Tov or Good Morning from the north of Israel,

It's 07:45 The sirens in our area and Haifa just sounded - almost like a morning wake-up alarm (Wilma phoned to say she heard 3 rockets explode). Faith and the boys are still asleep in our house bomb shelter - no need to run anywhere. I was awake at 05:45 the F16's taking off and landing woke me up and I found hard getting back to sleep. We live about 6 kilometres from Ramat-David, one of Israel's airforce bases. Actually, on a perfectly normal day, we may hear F16's flying around for exercise - so we're really quite used to it. The day is already hot and sweaty

I want to thank you for your prayers and many encouraging e-mails.

War is not nice, uncertain, unpredictable, frightening, chaotic and violent. War is full of sadness and anger. War is tiring physically and emotionally - adrenalin works overtime - after a while it is exhausting. We are now almost a week into the war with the Hizbullah and Lebanon. Israel counts about 13 civilian casualties and 12 soldiers. Lebanon - over 250 - still not sure how many Hizbullah, Lebanese Army or civilian.

The north of Israel is split into three regions:
Cities, towns and villages right on the northern border - Nahariah, Tsfat, Kiriat-Shmona, etc. These places are hit every day with rockets - everyone is required to be in their bomb shelters at all times.
A little further south is the next region - Acco, Krayot, Haifa, Tiberius, etc. In this area everyone must be about half a minute away from their bomb shelters - life is fairly normal. Several times a day the sirens will go off and people run for shelter - the rockets do come crashing in - it is scary.
The third region is the region where we live - we are about half an hour outside of Haifa - south east. There have been a few rockets that hit some place in this area during the days of the war - so we are told, we only heard faint explosions. The sirens do go off -when we hear them, we always make our way to our safe room. --
This is part of an update I got today from my friend Jonathan... there is more I may post later... please do Pray with me for them.

Update from a friend in Israel

We want to thank you all for your prayers and encouraging e-mails and phone calls.
Yes, as hard as it is to admit, in the past few days we are feeling the war. In my last report I mentioned our Israel Challenge team joining team-members Bob* and Viv* for ministry in Tiberius. Yesterday they were able to perform a drama at a Congregation in Tiberius - the meeting was short and people dispersed home as Katyushas began falling in Tiberius. The team managed to get some lunch before driving up to Jerusalem - they are now doing ministry on the beach in Tel-Aviv - they are moving about and ministering freely. Soon after they left some 3-5 rockets fell quite close to Bob* and Viv's* house - everyone is well.
Plans regarding the Israel Challenge team - to stay in the Jerusalem, Tel-Aviv area until the end of the summer campaign - this Wednesday and Thursday when they will be returning home.
Also several rockets fell in the Kraiyot suburbs of Haifa where James* and Molly* and their family live. They are safe in their bomb shelter with all their neighbours. They have been offered the choice to relocate south to Modiin, near Tel-Aviv - so far they are staying.
I recently returned from visiting team-members at the base in Haifa - they were all safe in the bomb shelter on the base - they all seemed encouraged. This morning at about 09:30 a barrage of rockets hit Haifa - one hit a busy train dock killing 8 and injuring many. They have been offered the choice to relocate south to Modiin, near Tel-Aviv - so far they are staying.
We have been in touch by phone with all personnel on the field - at this point everyone seems encouraged.
So far there are no plans for a general evacuation although it has been made clear to all our team here that those wishing to take an early summer leave can do so freely - finances are readily available for this.
As a nation we definitely feel we are at war - we and our children hear the exploding rockets and this does have an effect. BUT the ministry opportunities these days are amazing - not necessarily in the distribution of tracts and books, but as followers of the Messiah Yeshua, in the quiet and peaceful support and solidarity with the people. - JG July 16th
*names changed

Jerusalem's the Safe Spot??

I just randomly stumbled onto a blog, by someone thinking through and around what's going on in the middle east right now... I felt inclined to comment even though I didn't know the guy or anything.... and anyway, I got to thinking maybe I would just post that here too, seeing it's so much on my mind right now. I lived in Israel for a while and have friends there right now, whose lives are being turned upside down. Sadly the news we get here (namely CTV) is doing a very sloppy job of reporting. You're right, at the moment no sides are winners. But if you'd like to be a little more informed read on :D
The reason Israel has been taking out roads and airports etc.. is self defense. They generally try very hard not to take out civilians in fact it's been found that some "civilian deaths" were actually those that volunteered their lives for the cause - suicide casualties, in a way in order to win support. Not always the case of course, but Israel is very careful to warn civilains where they are planning to strike. In fact recently they dropped leaflets warning civilians to get out of the areas they were planning to strike. Some of the footage of "bloodshed in Lebanon" that ctv news showed was actually from the Haifa train station in Israel. A station I used many times while I lived there, and the "Lebanese" people it showed being loaded into ambulances were actually Israeli, you could see the Hebrew writing on the side of the Ambulance "M'gen David Adom" a red star of david, not a red crescent like they would have in Lebanon. HOWEVER, my heart aches for the innocent Lebanese whose homes and cities have been taken over by the Hezbollah. It's an old trick - use cilvilian homes, or even schools to fire from, and store your arms so that when there is retaliation, those will be the places destroyed. Some Arab friends of mine living in Bethlehem and Beit Jala, were forced from their homes because they were Christian, and their homes were turned into places to store armaments etc... as well as housed terrorists etc. Sometimes these families were allowed to stay, with the knowledge that these men would come and go as they please. My friends said they were so impressed though, that the Israeli army warned them ahead of time that their apartments were to be destroyed allowing eveyone to get out safely. A friend of mine in the Israeli army is a sniper for them and a Christian - for the first time in his military career he was called on to take out a couple of terrorists. The had gotten through the fence in Gaza, and opened fire on people in a mall. My friend saw these men kill soldiers on either side of him, and managed to save a little girl that they had shot... he and two others gave chase, cornered the terrorists in someones house and then "took them out". He cried over these men that wouldn't know Christ. The Israeli army questioned him and the others that survived that had taken part... not just questioned - interrogated for about 26 hours... The Israeli army is so careful, well aware it rarely has the full support of governments around the world. It had to make sure his actions were a trained response to the situation and not born out of hate or revenge, or a dislike of arabs. If that had factored into the equation at all he would have been absolutely reassigned and/or released of his duties. It makes me so frustrated when the news is reporting with such bias, and so sloppily. Oh if only the Lebanese government would stand against the Hezbollah. If only they wouldn't allow these terrorists to run their country into the ground. It is a sad state of affairs right now, for Israel and Lebanon. And sadly so little truth filters through on the news. At least not on our local news...

Ai yi yi yi!!!

Man... I am so easily talked into things....
"Sure okay, you can operate and figure out what's up, no problem... you wanna take my appendix? Okay... I don't think I really use it that much anyway"
Horrible!!!
Anyway, it's done now, and I'm recovering. I managed a few stairs all by myself yesterday. AND I'm walking less and less like a crippled old woman and more and more like a crippled young woman. And my fever is starting to stay down, for the first time in weeks!! So thanks those of you that prayed about that. I think that was one of the bigger worries - having a fever for so long and not being able to keep it down. I really didn't want to have to go back into hospital and go on and I.V. again. I think I officially hate intrevenous anything.
Phew - so enough about that...
Let me just say... I've had so much time to pray and think and read, and all those good things - but to be honest, instead I've just watched T.V. and watched T.V. and watched T.V. and... well you get the pictures. What a waste. I was too miserable and frustrated to do all those good things, and to be honest I think it was my little rebellion. God took my summer dreams away, so I'm not going to talk to him except when absolutely necessary... which for a bed ridden person turns out to be fairly often - but anyway... I realize I'm so sure sometimes that I've really handed God control over my life.. and then something like this disturbs the natural order of things and I get so angry things haven't turned out as I planned... ridiculous I know... I am ridiculous - and I know God uses all sorts of opportunities to show me where I still need to get to in my relationship with him. So now I am at even more loose ends than before - I have absolutely no idea what will happen this summer, this fall... and I want to say that's okay... God's in control - but to be honest I really want to know, I really do want to plan... I really do want to control... and let God assist... so I'm back to that... Praying that God gently and softly shows me how to trust in Him and His good, pleasing and perfect will.

and I see no bravery, in your eyes only sadness

I love this verse!! "The Lord God is my strength, my personal bravery and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering or responsibilty]!"
My mum was reading it in devotions last night, and I'm so glad to say it's true.
I am SO not a brave person. I've done things that are brave though, at least it took bravery for me - because I knew I could say... "well Father if this is what you want me to do, you must go before me, you must give me the strength, you must fight for me, just like you promised." And he has - I mean I'm still here, alive and kicking after all :D
There are so many things that make me want to stand still in terror - but there is so much freedom and confidence in knowing that the creator of this world IS my invincible army, my bravery exists only in Him. Although I have to say he's also brought people in my life to encourage me to be brave when I'm not, I still step out of my comfort zone holding His hand. So funny, sometimes I feel like I have a choke hold on his hand as if I'll have to drag Him where He doesn't want to go, when usually the thing I'm most afraid of, is the thing He's called me to in the first place... And the reason I'm scared is because I know it's way beyond my natural abilities - His strength being made perfect in my weakness, and all that :D
Anyway... I just thought I'd share this verse today that reminds me... Our Heavenly Father is my strength, my personal bravery, my invincible army. *sigh*, beautiful isn't it??
oh yah - if you're looking for it, it's the last verse in Habakuk (3:19)

Getting Married!

This is my fantastic exroommate SoonHee... (I called you fantastic, and everyone could see that!! :D hope you enjoyed it) She was in Israel for the entire time I was there, we joined around the same time and left around the same time - we were practically inseperable the entire time. People even started to treat us like a couple, weird I know... Well, I am happy to hear that she is getting a new roommote in just 2 short months...


I seriously doubt they could have as much fun rooming together as Soon Hee and I did - but, I guess he is more handsome than I am, so he'll be easier on the eyes in the early morning hours... and at least they are speaking the same language... Although Soon Hee, I just have to say. (Zagia Sarang hae popohejo - na chun ma yepuda!!) AND I do hope that somehow a miracle will happen for me to see you get married in Korea, we'll just have to pray about that. And!!
Ani Ohevet Ota Motek!! Lehitarot!!
AND for good measure "Na erumee moya??" hahahahaha

Why is This Thus? What is the Reason for This Thusness??

Family Portrait number 2 - please don't hate me for this Joybells :D

Miracle on the third floor

Last night my friend had a baby. I was with her just moments before, and saw her again this morning. Last night there was a little human being inside of her and today he's here - breathing the same air and looking at me with large, newborn baby blue-grey eyes. I could shake his hand and say hello, and he could feel my finger on his face. I was just overwhelmed with how amazing that is (although I played it cool while there of course. LOL). It is a miracle that happens everyday - God breaths life and sustains life by his word- just like He says He does in the gospel of John. Good news.

A Sinner in Lambs Clothing

Sometimes I wonder why I'm so faithless when I am looking for answers to prayer... I know "amount of faith" isn't really the problem, but who I'm placing my faith in... I realize the reason I struggle is still my lack of understanding about who God is and how I appear to him because of Christ.
I was finishing reading the book of John the other day, and I thought I would switch to the Contemporary English version for a bit of a twist on an old favorite :D
and I found these verses... that just popped out at me!
John 14:17 "The Spirit will show you what is true..." and 14:26 "... The Spirit will teach you everything..." and here's a bigger chunk of bread - John 15:5-7 "I am the vine and you are the branches. If you stayed joined to me, and I stayed joined to you then you will produce lots of fruit. But you cannot do anything without me. If you don't stayed joined to me, you will be thrown away. You will be like dry branches that are gathered up and burned in a fire. Stay joined to me and let my teachings become a part of you. Then you can pray for whatever you want, and your prayer will be answered." !!!!
For some reason this part just stood out and took hold of me for a while. I think it says somewhere else "you can ask anything in my name."
I got to thinking about times when I've asked someone to ask for something for me because I thought I would be rejected and they wouldn't - because they had some sort of in with the person in power. And it struck me, that the reason I doubt is because I think - why would God really want to grant that request for me??? what does it do for Him?? Who am I to ask it??

When you're asking something in Jesus name it's like asking on his behest. His life being so intertwined with your own, your request "in His name" is the same as Jesus coming to the Father to ask that very thing. This is where faith can take flight. I don't always believe that God will answer yes to my request. For whatever faithless reason I have at the time - I just don't... BUT I do believe that the Father would answer a request of Jesus -almost always in the affirmative (not "take this cup from me"... but generally it's yes... look at all the healings and the calming of the storm etc.) And He definitely always answered clearly and quickly. So there would be no question of what His answer is. So with confidence I can come before the throne, knowing I do so covered in the robes of righteousness, clothed with Christ himself! With that confidence my faith can increase exponentially.
What I have requested WILL be answered. I am absolutely of my own accord undeserving - but I don't ask - Christ asks for me! ...or at least, I ask with Him vouching for me. The other key bit - and the other thing I struggel with is - am I asking it in God's will or just my own - thats where the "Stay joined to me and let my teachings become a part of you" comes in... if I am letting the Holy Spirit lead and teach me I can absolutely trust that he will lead my prayer life also... I will pray in his will, the desires of my heart concieved originally in His.
That is my newest LIFE lesson. Well second newest I had quite the day of learning yesterday :D

Family Portrait

Shoulda coula woulda

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Funny thing is I've always wanted brown eyes like my mums... no such luck though.

Why I like apples, movies and of course tulips...

1.)DELICIOUS

2.)I am easily entertained


3.) Absolutely beautiful

Simple I know....

Pity the Fool

So I have been thinking a bit about pity lately... Probably because for me it's an easy emotion - not that I necessarily do anything about it, but I can easily feel pity. I have been reading "the Great Divorce" again, and noticed something that I obviously hadn't the first time (although how can I be sure I read it first almost 10 years ago)... here's a little quote.I'll translate to more modern english for those of you who hate thees and thous and ye's
"But can a person dare say that pity must ever die?""You must distinguish. The action of Pity will live forever; but the passion of Pity will not. The Passion of Pity, the pity we merely suffer, the ache that draws men to concede what should not be conceded and to flatter when they should speak truth, the pity that has cheated many a woman out of her virginity and many a statesman out of his honesty - that will die. It was used as a weapon by bad men against good ones: their weapon will be broken"

It's made me think of times I have willingly flattered out of pity instead of truth. Or shown kindness to someone who was really manipulating with pity. The outcome in the end being disgust and a loathing of that person. Even knowing that they were using pity as a manipulation I allowed myself to be manipulated. I think because it seemed like in order to love you must.

But that seems so naive now. It wasn't love... it was pride. I wanted to be looked on as kind or responsible or freindly or good. It was me worrying about my own reputation that down deep allowed that manipulation. How much kinder to speak the truth in love. To refuse the manipulation in favor of being able to actually love the person later, and not be hemmed in and controlled by them. I think I can still be a sucker to emotional manipulation, because sadly sometimes a love for a person and a love of reputation can keep me from taking a tougher less desirable role.Anyway... I'm still just mulling all this over. Maybe you have it all figured out. The whole turning the first moment of pity into positive action guided by the Holy Spirit. If so tell me how - there has to be some magical formula to all this, that will make me have the compassionate heart of God without being a willing victim of a perverted Pity. lol.

Beautiful isn't it?

I heart BIG GEEK!

It worked!! Genius. I'm so happy!!! Thrilled really! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! sigh - good sigh. So pleased :D