The Garment of Praise for a Spirit of Heaviness

It's been a tough week - a very tough week emotionally, and as one that doesn't "do" emotional I am always surprised to find how physically draining it is. Anyway, this week it seemed like one thing after another was bombarding me (not just me of course but also those around me); sorrow over the loss of old friends which then also reminds me of past losses and past grief, job stress, illness, more job stress, someone trying to charge something to my credit card I had never authorized - also known as money worries... etc..etc.. all of it combined has kept me on the verge of tears... and yet, God gently bekons me to the crook of his arm, to be protected from this latest storm and to know comfort. This morning in church they sang "blessed your name", just as they did at the funeral on Wednesday. It reminded me of the horrible time when Faye passed away and I was sitting in airports trying to get home... and God kept asking me to praise Him and "Blesses Be Your Name" became my anthem. As I praised my understanding of His love for me grew. As I chose to offer a sacrifice of praise... the heaviness eased. I am constantly surprised that no matter what state my emotions are in, when I choose to praise God and focus on His attributes, there develops a deep and abiding peace. I don't know why I'm surprised, it's exactly what He says will happen, but it still surprises me. To steal from C.S. Lewis, I guess you could say, I'm "surprised by joy". How, when grief and hurt are still strong; can peace and contentment, love and hope also be dwelling in my heart? Tonight, my younger sister sent my mum to talk to me... it was nice. I am so used to just taking everything to God, and trying to shelter those I love from my own pain, that I can forget that they want to be a help and comfort. My mum, who has not had they easiest of weeks either, shared what God had given her at the beginning of all the trouble. So much like myself she quoted the verses, that I always remember from the old song....

He gives us beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.

It's so true. I know it may sound strange... but I find there can be a certain poetic(?) beauty in grieving the loss of a friend, and I have experienced joy in the midst of mourning, and I can testify that Praise releases me from feelings of heaviness.

And so once again...

Blessed be His name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness... blessed be His name.

And blessed be His name, when the sun's shining down on me, when the world's all that it should be, blessed be His name.