I normally love holidays so much and make kind of a big deal of them. I like to celebrate any and all that I can... but this year, something happened. Starting with last Thanksgiving, they have all kind of caught me by surprise. Easter was no exception.
Most people wouldn't care, or even think it important, I know that... but for me... I kind of need that time. It's usually when I slow down think about what it all means, where God is in it... why it's still good to celebrate.
Although I told myself all through the month of March, that Easter was coming quick, I still felt unprepared. At least on the inside. I know it's probably because I've made myself too busy. I know that I made myself busy on purpose... not that busy is bad, I think it keeps me from watching to much television actually... But I hate, that when it finally comes to a holiday time, I crash. I switch off almost completely and all the stuff I put off until the next school break remains undone. I'm not talking about work... I mean devotion time. I have all these excellent intentions of really taking time to pray and seek God, and read and worship, and somehow that all falls by the wayside... I continue to make myself busy with errands and chores and social life and all sorts of things. AND YES! I know these things aren't bad things either, but really... when I look back on my life, or when I meet God face to face, what will I value most... the time I spent at Wal*Mart looking at electronics (that was for Joy's benefit -LOL), or the time I spent investing in my relationship with Him.
The thing is, every single time, I have purposed and set aside for God, have been quality. Many of them life altering in fact. So after these holidays have come to an end. ( Just like they do tonight) I feel a bit like I robbed myself of a really special gift. Kind of a horrible feeling. *sigh*
anyway.... it is now 1:30 am and I should probably go to bed, I've got work in the morning.
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