Man... I am so easily talked into things....
"Sure okay, you can operate and figure out what's up, no problem... you wanna take my appendix? Okay... I don't think I really use it that much anyway"
Horrible!!!
Anyway, it's done now, and I'm recovering. I managed a few stairs all by myself yesterday. AND I'm walking less and less like a crippled old woman and more and more like a crippled young woman. And my fever is starting to stay down, for the first time in weeks!! So thanks those of you that prayed about that. I think that was one of the bigger worries - having a fever for so long and not being able to keep it down. I really didn't want to have to go back into hospital and go on and I.V. again. I think I officially hate intrevenous anything.
Phew - so enough about that...
Let me just say... I've had so much time to pray and think and read, and all those good things - but to be honest, instead I've just watched T.V. and watched T.V. and watched T.V. and... well you get the pictures. What a waste. I was too miserable and frustrated to do all those good things, and to be honest I think it was my little rebellion. God took my summer dreams away, so I'm not going to talk to him except when absolutely necessary... which for a bed ridden person turns out to be fairly often - but anyway... I realize I'm so sure sometimes that I've really handed God control over my life.. and then something like this disturbs the natural order of things and I get so angry things haven't turned out as I planned... ridiculous I know... I am ridiculous - and I know God uses all sorts of opportunities to show me where I still need to get to in my relationship with him. So now I am at even more loose ends than before - I have absolutely no idea what will happen this summer, this fall... and I want to say that's okay... God's in control - but to be honest I really want to know, I really do want to plan... I really do want to control... and let God assist... so I'm back to that... Praying that God gently and softly shows me how to trust in Him and His good, pleasing and perfect will.
10 comments:
Glad to see you had the energy to blog today! Thanks for the chat last night. I've realized that when I rebel and refuse to talk to God, He's probably just rolling his eyes and nudging someone saying "Get a load of that one". Then like a parent who let's their child get a tantrum out of their system, He says "I'll be waiting when you're finished--here's a kleenex, don't let your nose run".
exactly, and once again... one of our conversations inspired me to blog... good on ya'
:D
The summer isn't over yet. We're trusting for Peru for you. You still can plan and dream for your future. I've got my own dream for you, but I'll never tell you what it is. Ha! I'll just wait and if it comes true.
oh mag, Thanks... I think I'm just a bit down from being shut up in doors all day every day for ages.
AND obviously confused about what God is doing in all this... but I know he'll replace dreams etc... It'll be fine, I'll be fine.
Someday :D
Are you saying in the first part of your blog that the doctors took your appendix out just to see if that would help? What would they do if it wasn't the problem, try removing your heart? Forgive me if I'm confused.
oh you are funny. if you only knew exactly how funny you actually are, oh goodness. i mean, when someone says the word "funny" or "funny" i instantly think of you. ...wait, who is this. oh this is grace i'm talking to. shoot. ok nevermind then. not funny at all.
oh luke YOU are funny!! (in a grace sort of way) hahahahah
dear confused.. that is exactly what I am saying. They took my appendix because they happened to be in there with cameras and lights having a look around anyway... they thought they may as well... and I obviously wasn't stopping them :D But oh how I hope it WAS my appendix.
When we try to control things in our lives, sometimes God reminds us who is really in control! That's when we need to sit back, let God take the lead. Make your plans! But just don't forget to include God in those plans!
Hope you're on the road to recovery!
Here's a good saying for you: IF YOU WANT TO MAKE GOD LAUGH, TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR FUTURE PLANS. Roll with the punches girl, you will be much happier that way.
Thanks Des... you know, I was talking to Kelly last night, and she was passing on all sorts of sage advice that you've given her. You are such an encouragement Des, even when you don't know it - so thank you :D
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