Today I visted a dying friend. It's not the first time I've visited someone who was dying, but this time was different.
This time I was alone.
It was just her and me.
She didn't know me anymore, which made me feel even more alone. I talked and she looked at me blankly. I wasn't sure if she heard, but sometimes she would say something in a weak voice. All recognizable words, but strung together in a way that made them senseless. I wished I had brought my bible, because then I could have read to her and filled the silence. Instead she looked at me, and I looked at her. I wanted to run, but first I prayed for her. It's one of those things that just left me feeling so sad. All she could do was lie there. Her only attmepts to communicate were futile, because all her words were just that... just words. When I tried to read something in her eyes, there was blankness. I pray so much she is either healed dramatically, or is called home shortly. I know if I was her I would wish God would take me quickly. But then, just because she can't communicate to me, doesn't mean she can't communicate with God. Maybe they are having a grand old time together. I thank God so much he can hear and interpret the sighs of our hearts and groans that words cannot express. I thank God that she is not alone. That He will never leave her or forsake her. What a comfort that is.
Despite this comfort I am still sad today. I guess maybe I am already mourning the loss of this friend. Even though she is still "present in the body", I think she is really at home with the Lord.
3 comments:
Tough day for you my darling. I'm so I couldn't be there for you just to sit and listen. You are so compassionate. Don't lose that.
As for the email. no worries, secrets are my close friend.
I agree it is difficult to remember that just because she can't communicate with me doesn't mean she isn't communicating with God. The other far to easy jump is that just because she looks weak to me doesn't mean she isn't a skillful warrior in the Almighties Prayer Army. We can always be about "the Lords work". It is too easy to be lasy and not take every second God gives us and incorrectly assume that it is insufficent or that we are inadiquite for the job. God has us here for what purpose? can be a weighty question to ponder. Especially when we know his plan is perfect and his will good.
Death is always a tough situation to deal with. We as humans are selfish we should rejoice in our loved ones going to heaven. We tend to think but what about me. I pray that God will work his mericals and do his will in this ladies life and that the loved ones left here on eathe would understand the Lord's work.
Amber:)
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