Beautiful isn't it?

I heart BIG GEEK!

It worked!! Genius. I'm so happy!!! Thrilled really! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! sigh - good sigh. So pleased :D

My sad little iPod...

Please disregard this one if you hate iPods and/or technology as much as Joy.


To quote the Beetles "Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody, Help!"
Our computer crashed a few months back - I missed it terribly. (well to be honest I missed iTunes terribly) Fortunately before it crashed I had updated it with the latest and greatest... however, since it was down so long and I am a bit of a music hound... I got a friend to link me to his, so I could put some new cd's on it, etc... After that it locked me out of all the songs I purchsed from iTunes on my computer - dirty rotten sassafrassa rassa...
anyhoo...(don't you hate that when people say anyhoo, instead of anyhow? hahaha)
ANYHOO... I was miserable about that but happy to have the new cd's I figured we would get our computer back right away, I would unlock my purchased songs... no problem. Well after another month+ we finally got it back, but now my itunes won't recognize my iPod - in fact the whole computer is now acting like it doesn't exist!!! So frustrating. I'm locked out and don't know what to do. If you have ANY know how. PLEASE!!! I'm down on my knees beggin you please... HELP!!!

*sigh*

So bored and lonely... *sigh* I decided to read all of the Doctor McNinja's which can be found on a link from White Ninja. They were alright. I have to admit I had a chuckle or two. They are no white Ninja however, I'll warn you now. But for those of you who don't understand white ninja, but do love ninja's generally, well, maybe you'd prefer him... it's not comic strips but comic book style. I guess I no longer have the attention span for a whole comic book. I prefer big pay off for little time and effort. :)ummm, okay, I guess I'll talk to you later. Call me! or email, or something!!! I'm SO bored!!!!

Something Smart

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something
smart?

A: She starts the sentance with "A man once told me..."

SHAMED

So as it turns out I am a complete Ninny!!I'm sure many of you knew this already, but I have been deceiving myself quite satisfactorily for a while now. How did I discover that truth??
Well I took a little trip to Edmonton with my Dad today and en route I read to him from "The Barbarian Way". I just had a chapter left, but I went back to almost the beginning 'cause there was so much good stuff I wanted to share with him from it. Anyway, we spent at least 2 and a half hours reading all about living a fearless life based on love and selflessness and other traits that Christ modelled for us. Again and again I thought how good all that is, stepping out of what is safe and doing what is right.... Well just after we arrived I had my resolve to live as a barbarian tested.

I was walking down Jasper Ave (my Dad dropped me off at the passport office to do something I should have done ages ago...) and was headed back to my grandmas house (I was not wearing a red hood), when I saw this homeless guy sitting by a lamp post at the corner of 102 St, begging... Thing is, his back was to me, so he never addressed me directly, in that split second while I walked past and people facing him walked past and he begged, I thought first, "I should give him some money"... but then I assured myself he was definitely an alcoholic (walking away), then I thought "I should at least offer to buy him a meal" (still walking) "but it's not safe,everyone would agree"... I'm sure... plus I've had problems in the past when I've tried to do that. (Still walking now at 104 St). I had finally convinced myself that it was okay, I'd just pray God would send someone to help him (obviously someone more obedient than myself) at the corner of 107st a young mum asked me what time it was and I told her, crossed the street alongside her and strated to feel a little bit better about myself... I told her the time after all, that really put me out. :)

As I approached the corner of 108 St, I saw a young guy shake hands with and greet, an obviously homeless guy... I didn't overhear much - drat :D - but what I did hear convicted me so much. The young guy (who looked like any number of my friends - maybe even you if you're a boy) shook the mans hand with both of his and said, "Hi I'm Rodger (or Robert, that part was unclear), what's your name?" The homeless man was too quiet to hear, but I'm sure he gave his name, then Rodger/Robert said, "So where can I take you, what would you like to eat? Pizza? a Sub? there's a quiznos over there..." and they walked off, the young guy guiding him with a hand on his back.
I'M A NINNY!!! That is exactly what I should be doing, forget fears, or time, or expense, that is Christ living in and through someone right there - showing love to the unloved (even by a simple touch), providing for those that can't provide for themselves (no matter the reason). And how long had I spent just minutes before talking about this, and agreeing that this is how we should be living - hours!!
To greet someone take the time to find out their name and show care (is how I should have responded)- this guy didn't act superior in any way, didn't speak loudly (I stood close at the stop light eavesdropping) so that people would know that he's being charitable, he just responded in love to someone. I don't know if that young guy really was a Christian, but I think he must have been, in that brief glimpse I saw someone acting like Christ. I pray that I don't need to repeat this lesson, I pray that I no longer respond in fear, or in self preservasion, or in pride, that I don't choose to be safe over doing what I know to be good and right... I PRAY that God helps me respond with Christ's heart. I obviously can't do it of my own volition, no matter how good I think it would be. I know there have been times in the past where the situation has come up, and I could and did act without first thinking about myself, I just wish those times would increase! So that is my confessional for today... enjoy... revel in it - unless of course you are as big a ninny as I am, in which case let me warn you, God will reveal it to you personally as well. I'm sure of it. So what are you gonna do about it?? Hmmmmm??!

Stand and Feel Your Worth

Lately everywhere I turn it seems, I am faced with this idea, a kind of slogan for living. I probably am just more aware of it because of Thrice's song - which I love. And I have been thinking about the lyrics alot lately. Especially the title lyric. "Stand and Feel Your Worth". Whenever I hear it I feel a little taller inside. I feel like (here comes another movie reference) Leeloo in fifth element, when she is being used to combat that ultimate evil. She's placed there so weak almost dead, and then this power flows through her to combat that evil, and it's this incredible force that raises her up.

So many times in the bible there are stories of people recognizing their place before God, falling prostrate before Him, only to have Him pick them up and put them on their feet. Their worth before Him, coming not from themselves, but from the position God chose for them.

I noticed this little bit of irony. Whenever I start looking to find my worth in myself... try to find what I might be talented in so I can show it off a little, or try my hardest to be beautiful, or kind, or amazing in some way that might set me apart from the other rabble, I start to feel a little worthless. A little bit ashamed, a little talentless, I become more mean, more self involved, a little bit like I'm dead inside. And all the kindnesses of those around me, trying to encourage or say lovely things don't really help because "I know the truth". However, whenever I turn my mind from trying to find my worth, knowing that I am sinful from birth - (there will always be many "someones better" at almost everything and in every way) and so I just choose to be thankful for the position God has given me as HIS child... my worth in Him shows itself. I feel taller, dare I say - empowered, better able to face the world, and myself.

I feel like there is something in my chest that will drag me out of my prone position, & stand me on my feet and cover me with some strange light that everyone else must be able to see. To stand and feel the light of His love. That's what I feel when I hear that song. I know Thrices style isn't everyones cup of tea. And you may not listen to it ever, so here are some lyrics. Can you feel it? Do you know your worth??

Wake,
Stand and feel your worth,
'O my soul.
Kneel and know the word,
That can save us all.
We are,
Wrought with breath and dirt,
Washed in second sight.
Woven through the earth,
Wreathed in rings of,
Light
STAND AND FEEL YOUR WORTH, 'O MY SOUL!

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

BIzarre!

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun. And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial. Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well. However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

The most bizarre part is that I am both apple green and apple red - without even trying to be. Also I tend to eat about 3-4 apples a day. I'm starting to wonder if these apples I'm always eating (only ever royal gala or golden delicious) are in fact affecting (effecting?) my personality!!! That's just good science! (Right John?)

The Way Of The Barbaric

Well I was shocked. I don't know why I was shocked I shouldn't be any more, but I was. I am presently reading a book called The Barbarian Way. (Thanks Chris). And in the second chapter I was kind of stopped in my tracks by the authors take on some verses that I have read a hundred times before. I could quote them, I just obviously hadn't thought about them previously. It was from Matthew 11:2-6. (When John heard in prison what Christ was doing, he sent his disciples to ask him, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.")
The author was talking about a Jesus I don't understand very well. A Jesus definitely not of my making. John who grew up as a close cousiin with him, who knew while still in the womb that Jesus was the promised Messiah.
John who stood for him, lived a crazy life eating locusts and honey (neither of my favorite dishes) in order to be the voice of the one crying in the wilderness - "prepare ye the way for the Lord", baptized Him and saw the Holy Spirit descend on Him like a dove. John, who was at that very moment suffering in prison for that life of obedience, just is a little bit faithless and needed some confirmation, or even affirmation that it will all work out in the end. And what was the reply - STUFF HE ALREADY KNEW! He'd seen and heard of the miracles, but right now he was in need of a miracle. And in that place of pain and anxiety comes this word. "Blessed is the one who doesn't fall away on account of me." In other words - I can rescue you. But I won't. But if you stand firm, even in this, you will be blessed.
It seems like in the last month I have seen so many examples of this in the lives of people around me. They seem to be going through incredible hurts and massive amounts of pain, one thing after the other. Even stranger is, it seems to be people that all love God so much, and I think how will they bare up under it.

The strain is too much, and I cry out to God to pull them out of it, and still the painful situations seem to continue. And then I read this chapter, which I read and reread. And the author reiterated what I already knew, but with an example that shocked my socks off. I had never thought of Jesus, purposefully, not working a miraculous rescue in the life of someone that He loved and who loved Him. All the stories I had thought of before (in regards to God leading those that love Him through times of intense painful testing) were old testament, and seem to be a part of God that was history. The part of God that was ordering the wiping out of a nation, of the death of evil men.
But in The Barbarian Way, it reminded me. Jesus is God, God is unchanging. He wants us to have lives full of meaning, not full of fun in the sun and pina colada's brought to us by Cabana boys in the South Pacific somewhere.
Although he does love to lavish blessing on us, He also loves for us to run to Him with arms wide open. Hard to do when carrying a Pina Colada. Much easier to do when we are afraid, or worried, or in pain and needing a hand to hold.
I know last year was one of the most painful I've known, and I know in that time I felt more loved by God than ever before. It is true. Blessed is the one that doesn't fall away, when trials come, when God leads you on a narrow path that seems to have briars on both sides, and people shooting arrows from above, while walking barefoot on broken glass. To follow through the pain, and be able to say in the midst. Blessed be your name.