Bored? Try this... It's bound to drive others nuts but give you hours and hours of delightful stories to entertain both yourself and your friends.

1. Call an addiction hotline and explain to them that you are 'Hooked on Phonics'.

2. Call the Q-Tips 800 number (IF THIS IS A MEDICAL OR PRODUCT SAFETY EMERGENCY, PLEASE CALL 1-800-745-9279. This number is available 24 hours a day / 7 days a week.) and say (loudly) that one of the cotton swab parts just came off in your ear. When they reply, keep shouting, "What? What? What did you say??"

3. Go to the Polar bear exhibit at the zoo and shout at the laziest one,

"C'mon Larry, enough's enough! Take off that silly costume and come back to the office already!!"

4. Call National Acme Company (Cleveland, OH (216) 268-4200 or Fax: (216) 268-4108). Ask if they have any products you could use to kill a road runner.

5. Rush yourself to the ER and explain to the night nurse that you were resting on your leg for a few hours and now it feels numb, and yet... somehow tingly, like millions of tiny pins or needles are going through it. Look extremely worried and ask if they will be able to save the leg or... (shudder a little) will they have to amputate?

6. In the middle of the night noisily bury a fully dressed mannequin in your backyard. Arrange lawn furniture on the fresh mound and sit down quickly on it when the police arrive.

7. Get a video camera and microphone, chase around a local TV news crew around. Interrupt on-the-scene shots, by shouting "Where have all the cowboys gone!"

8. Ask strangers if they have change for a nickel.

9. In a public bathroom, utter loud, pain-wracked screams, then emerge proudly holding a large hens egg. (You may want to consider slathering it with seedless strawberry jam, for effect!)

10. Whenever someone uses your name while talking to you look a little disturbed and inform them that you would prefer to be called by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

For example... "Hey Shinebone, I want you to meet my..." (insert look of conternation now, then sigh heavily) I would PREFER if you would call me by my wrestling name Rock Hard Kim" - See how easy that is, and yet strangely effective!!